Thursday, December 31, 2015

Hidden Curriculum and a New Year

Street of gold - captured on a walk
I'm enjoying a very short break before the next semester begins.  This past one was hard - perhaps the hardest one ever.  The tricky thing about grad school is the hidden curriculum.  That is the stuff that will get you.  It exists mostly in your head.  There is the crushing feeling of doubt, guilt and fear. Head Games.  Ugh!

In a related note - I found this wonderful article the other day: Learning to Deal with the Impostor Syndrome.

I learned a lot this semester and in many ways I found myself again.  I reasserted what was important.  I made space for what I found to be true.  Perhaps the most important thing is I made time for myself.  In April, I began to walk and commit to making eating changes.  I've lost 40 lbs so far and I feel great.  Everything is getting easier, I have more energy and I can climb behind looms without
scooting them around.  I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago and found out that being thinner didn't solve all my problems (why did I think it would?).  This time I feel more prepared and I'm enjoying small victories - moving my Fitbit to smaller notches, finding my collarbone and the growing pile of clothes that are now way too big.  I had to remember this semester that I needed time to walk - the physical exercise time and the aloneness time are some key to my happiness.

My husband and I learned to make time for each other as well.  We finally committed to making time to write as well.  We picked up a book of writing prompts and are slowly working our way through short exercises.  It has been a lot of fun.  We sit down for 20-30 minutes of dedicated writing time then we trader computers and read.  Sometimes we learn something new about each other and sometimes we just have to encourage each other to keep pushing.

Distance - handmade paper (abaca)
I've also gotten back to reading a lot this year.  Audiobooks pass the time on my long drive to and from school and on my walks.  The highlights this year have been Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic and the writings and lectures of BrenĂ© Brown.

In year's past I've made a list of intentions for the coming year.  My list this time around is short -

Keep up everything I've learned this past year.

See more live music It always makes me feel better & clears head space. 
Travel - I'm longing to get back to New Mexico again.

See past commitments: 2011201220132014, 2015.

Happy New Year!  I hope this next year is an intentional one for you.  Be curious and go make something.

Rep Weave Sample - hand dyed cotton